Aging Reboot

When you think of the word “aging” what comes to mind? Is it an elderly person? Is it someone you know who is very old? Is it an ill person? Is it a relative in a hospital? Or is it a brave, creative and fierce person taking the world by the reins and enjoying the thrilling ride?Every living thing is in a constant state of “aging” from the moment of existence. The stigma and discrimination associated with the ideas about “aging” are in desperate need of a reboot.When I was a child, and I imagined who I was going to be in my teens or 20s. I had a literal expectation that the person I was going to be was someone else. I different person. When I reached those ages, I was surprised and confused that I did not feel like a different person. I just had more experiences. I know more facts and ideas about life. I had had good and bad experiences physically and emotionally. But I was the same person. I looked different because I was older, but my core self was still the same. I didn’t look back at the child me and think I was someone else. That was wild. That kept happening.  When I was a teenager and I would imagine what I was going to be like to be in my 30s I thought I would be a different person. And then I got to my 30s and didn’t feel like a different person. I thought “maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe I am not “aging” the right way.” I commented on this to my Dad at the time. And he said, “yeah, that is going to keep happening for the rest of your life.”So why do we treat people of different ages differently as they show signs of being older? Almost as if they are becoming less than. Less relevant, less visible, less worthy. Ageism is the only prejudice acceptable in our society. Much of this has to do with the media. But the media is reflecting what we as a society think. Those thoughts are more related to fear than reality. Just because someone isn’t becoming physically stronger doesn’t mean they not continuing to learn. Many people my age and older are fascinated by continuing to learn throughout their lives. As people age, they acknowledge they DON'T know everything the way they thought they did when they were younger. Young people can learn from this outlook. Instead of tossing it aside.  There is a great deal of fear around the taboo changes. The seven stages of aging depict a baby, a child, a teenager, a young adult, a parent, a person in their career, and then an old person. The time between having a career and life expectancy is about 40 - 50 years. Why is it just the "old person" used for all of that entire span of time?At almost 53, I feel very much like the same person I was at age 19. Which blows my mind. It isn’t negative or positive. It just is not what I expected. My husband and I adopted our daughter when I was 40. I had a REALLY hard time balancing my career with being a new mom. We were fortunate enough that we could manage my staying home for a bunch of years with her. After 5 years I started to get back into the workforce and the attitude towards me was astounding. I think part of it was because I had let my hair go gray. The whole idea of having gray hair is bizarre. When you think about it, more than half the population has gray hair. It is just that a large percentage of the population (especially women) color it. So having gray hair means “old”. We don’t really mean “aging”. We mean getting terminally ill or unable to take care of ourselves. These conditions include everything from heart disease and cancer to mental illness and insomnia. But many people don’t experience life-threatening conditions or diseases for decades. Some people don't experience much disease or illness at all. So why do we treat them as if they have one foot in the grave as soon as they hit 50? We have way more control over that than we think and then the healthcare system would like us to know. Face it, the sicker we get, the richer they get. They don’t make any money if we stay healthy. Which is why I am working to get insurance companies to provide benefits to people who make efforts to stay healthy. I'm confused about why insurance companies are not all over this. The healthier we stay the less they have to pay doctors and hospitals and pharmacies.Our culture needs to make an effort to bridge the generations so that we can learn more from each other, I think there needs to be more of a concerted effort in schools, community centers, senior homes to help. Young people need to not just see the puberty movie They need to see a movie or have conversations about how awesome ALL stages of life are. Combined with how important it is to stay healthy throughout that time. So much of disease is preventable with lifestyle change. Which is exactly what I do for a living: Help people who need help kick-starting their healthy lifestyle, whether it be physical or mental or both.Of course, I'm physically aging and I'm definitely more mentally and emotionally mature. I feel wiser and I feel more patient. So there are aspects that have very much improved. But that is also unexpected. Based on all the stereotypes of cranky hags, I did not expect to feel better. I expected to feel worse. I am more open to new ideas. More excited about how other people think. More able to understand my daughter. More appreciative of the challenges my mother had. More in love with my husband.We can shift the way we think of aging for good. It won’t just be about treating disease but about knowledge and fierce virtuous living! There needs to be more awareness of how great it is to age. I am part of that effort.As people age, they attain more empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, wisdom. You literally grow into Virtue. 

This is the first in a series of posts about aging I will be working on. So I'm curious about what you think. What does aging mean to you? Whatever age you are. What are your thoughts on this? What would you like to see happen in our society change? Please leave a comment or contact me privately. And PLEASE share this with anyone you think would appreciate it.