Fit Out
When studying human behavior and how it connects to people pleasing especially, I have come to understand that being part of the group where we are accepted, approved of, and feel part of a society is necessary for our survival. Even though we are for the most part secure as human beings in modern days, we are still eager to crave this sense of belonging.When we want to be unique and stand out in some way, whether it’s in our career, in our social circles, or our athletic achievements, we have to Fit Out from the tribe. Stepping out means we try something creative that goes against the grain and opens us up to having people in the tribe think negatively about us and what we are doing. To many of us, this feels horrific. It is like being stranded all alone on an island. It is scary as hell. No wonder many of us don’t take this risk and speak up about our creative ideas or pursue a passion more often.
“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” — John F. Kennedy
What I want to offer here is that even though it feels horrible to Fit Out, or take a unique step in some way, it usually helps people from another tribe and attracts more like-minded people to you. Usually, this fierce action helps someone else and inspires them to step outside of their tribe and try something new as well. The result is that more and more creative ideas are born. The pain is worth it for all the gain that comes from this powerful chain reaction. When we fear disapproval, we play small and stay in the comfort zone, and growth stagnates.Remember too that even if someone does think negatively about you, it is all about them - not you. I could do a Facebook Live Coaching Session, for example, stepping into my fear and vulnerability, and the hundreds of people that may watch it will not all have the same reaction to it because they will all think slightly different about it.As I move towards this fear, I strengthen the chances of helping someone else instead of playing it safe and not taking action. I also strengthen the chance of having haters who think my ideas are really stupid and wrong. The fear and doubt are worth it to me because of the value I put into the world and the potential that it brings with it.Watch me Fit Outthis September when I will host a live Fierce Coaching 6 week Course where I expand on that week’s blog to help you get transformation. More information will follow in the coming months. Learn from my a-ha moments, ask questions, and live YOUR best fierce life.If you are ready to Fit Out and stop playing small, to share your brilliance with the world, please reach out for some coaching to help deal with the fear you will likely experience, I promise you it is worth it and you won’t die socially. You will grow tremendously.