You Are Stronger Than Your Excuses
Our excuses are stories we tell ourselves about people, events, and situations. They are made up rationalizations we create to defend our behavior, to avoid taking action, or just as a way to neglect responsibility.
In order to achieve results in your life, whether it’s to have a good relationship, a satisfying career, or to lose 25 pounds – it has to come from the belief that you can accomplish it. Many people mistakenly believe that they are not fixable or not worthy or can’t do what they need to do to get the results they want, and that limited belief shows up in the form of an excuse.Some common stories my brain has made up and I have heard from clients are, (but definitely not limited to):
I don’t have enough time
I’m not strong enough
I'm too anxious
My kids demand too much of my time
I’m too old
I’m too young
I don't have the skills to do it
I don’t know how
I’m afraid to
Other people might not like me if I do it
I'm not good looking enough
I'm not worthy
I can't figure out how to motivate myself
I don’t have what it takes
I'm not FIERCE enough
What is important here is to recognize that all of these statements are just made up thoughts. They are not facts, and they just come from our brain. For every excuse, there is someone who has succeeded at that age, at that skill set, at that weight, with more children, with the same looks and with the same amount of time. These often defeating statements are simply distracting stories that we tell ourselves to avoid FIERCE change.It’s seriously important to remember that, initially, our brain will always prefer to resist change. It wants to keep us safe and it believes the one way to do that is to keep doing what we have always done because there is less risk of failure and harm. Our brain wants to prevent us from experiencing any pain, so the excuses and stories are coming from good intentions. What I encourage all of you to understand and realize is that these thoughts are NOT true. Excuses are not facts, and they keep us distracted from our desired goals. We want to first become aware of them, know that they come from good intentions, but that we don’t have to believe them. They are optional thoughts. We can rewrite these storiesAs a coach, my challenge is to FIERCELY fight against my clients’ stubborn beliefs so that they get to experience the joy that comes from seeing the results they want. I do not attach to my clients’ excuses no matter how hard they try to get me to believe them. And, believe me, those excuses are sometimes very convincing.In order to get your FIERCE results, you must be aware of your FIERCE excuses, understand that they are optional, and understand the feelings and actions that they convince you to take, or in many cases, not to take.Once you have this awareness, you can get your butterflies in flying formation, to go open up understanding of the optional thoughts our there so that you can prove that you CAN achieve your dream result.All excuses come from your thoughts. Consider this good news because you can direct your mind towards beliefs that serve you and narrow the space between your goal and your excuses. But watch out! – They are sneaky and often persistent. However, over time, the less you attach to them and the more action you take proving that you can succeed in spite of them, these unhelpful thoughts will fade away.If you struggle with attaching too much with your excuses and stories and not your desired results, I invite you to a mini session with me. I promise to stand firm and persist against your excuses and fight for your FIERCE results. Let's change your story!If you are struggling in any way to cope with this pandemic and don’t want to add more stress to your life by engaging in addictive behaviors, please reach out. Remember, all of my sessions can be done virtually on Zoom or over the phone. For anyone experiencing financial hardship during this crisis, I am offering discounted options. Stay FIERCE,
Lisa Smith is a health and life coach, holding a certification from The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and a BA in Philosophy from Hunter College. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Lisa started Stay Fierce Coaching.