Don't Think of a Purple Fox

When you are trying to motivate yourself to start or stop doing something, a critical factor, which is largely unknown by many, is to avoid using negative words when framing your intentions. The reason for this is neurological. Our brains respond more to negative events than to positive events. And our brains do not comprehend negations the way they are intended.If I say to you, "don't think of a purple fox." What happens in your thought process? You thought of a purple fox, right? This is true of every negation we are exposed to, whether we send it or receive it.For example, if you want to motivate yourself or someone else to avoid being nervous before a talk, meeting, test. And our advice to ourselves or the person we wish to motivate is "Don't be nervous." The brain processes the word nervous, it doesn't process negation don't be. Believe it or not the same is true with seemingly kind expressions like "No worries" or "No problem". The brain is hearing worries and problem. So if someone were to mistakenly walk in front of you and apologize, instead of saying "no worries" or "no problem", try using the expression "It's all good" or "It's okay" or "You're good." Because when you use the words worries or problem, you are also putting those negative words in your own mind! So even if you could not care less how the other person is receiving your comment, do it for your own brain!This is understandably difficult and challenging to change or break this lifetime habit, and I have been struggling with it myself. We are so conditioned with these phrases, that they just roll off the tongue or pop into our minds.  But it is SO worth it to start trying.Here are some suggestions for turning a negative into a positive:"I don't want to fail" vs.  "I want to succeed""I don't eat junk food" vs. "I want to eat at least 5 cups of vegetables each day""I don't want to have a 3rd glass of wine" vs. "I want to feel good tomorrow morning and go for a run""I don't want to be mad at my daughter" vs. "I want my daughter to know how much I love her""I don't want my past to dictate my future" vs. "I want to start each day being a little bit better than I was yesterday.""Stop hitting your brother!" vs. "Show your brother how much you like spending time with him.""You don't understand me!" vs. "Please let me explain this from my point of view.""I'm such a failure" vs. "I have lots of potential to do good"Psychologists Mante S. Nieuwland and Gina R. Kuperberg from Tufts University investigated how different types of negative statements are processed in the brain. In this study, the researchers measured event-related potential responses (ERPs) while participants read statements containing critical, mid-sentence words that made the statement true or false.An example of this type of statement would be, “Vitamins and proteins aren’t very bad for your health.” This statement is confusing because including the negative word “aren’t” implies that vitamins and proteins may be bad for your health, which we know is not true. In this case, the negative word makes the statement not very useful or helpful.If you were put into an MRI and the word NO flashed in front of you for less than a second, your brain would release stress-producing hormones, which would interrupt your logic, reason, language processing and communication. In a study, just seeing a list of negative words will make anxious and depressed people feel worse! They can disrupt your sleep, they can cause you to overeat, and affect your ability to have long term happiness and satisfaction.The Power of Positive ThinkingWhen people are taught to turn negative thoughts into positive ones, their communication improves and we realize we have self-control and confidence.The amazing news is, even if the positive thoughts make no logical sense, they will still promote happiness and confidence! Positive thinking activates motivation centers in our brains and helps us deal with challenges. If your goal is to create a satisfying life (Duh!), you should engage in positive thinking about yourself and focus on every positive experience. Share your happiest times with others!Here is another place where the practice of meditation comes in handy. By meditating, we practice catching ourselves drifting away from our intentions.Choose the words you use with yourself and others wisely. Shake up your brain's tendency to be negative by repeating out loud and slowly positive words like love, success, peace, compassion and you will lower your stress, feel better, live longer and have more deep and trusting relationships with others AND YOURSELF!